Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Quick Rant + Sweet Surprise + Tags

Hello ladies. I feel like venting out right now so I hope you guys don't mind if I start this post with a quick rant...

I've been having a hard time with clinicals... I kept making mistakes here and there and I feel like I'm walking on thin ice whether I'll pass this one class I have and graduate by december, or I might have to go take it again on next semester IF the my school permits me to do so.

You see, each clinicals we are evaluated by our instructor, whether we pass it with as Satisfactory (means you did good that day) or Unsatisfactory (means you did something bad and a plan of action is expected before you go to your next clinical). I already have 2 Unsatisfactory, and 1 more and I'm out of the class :/ I don't know what the fuck is going on with me. I do everything I could to prepare everytime I go to clinicals. I type everything down all the medications all that information shit, yet I came short twice already... and I've only been to the floor for 5 weeks. The most painful part I guess is my mistakes are the MOST BASIC ONES that every student nurse needs to remember. I almost fcking gave the wrong insulin because I was soooo flustered by the fact that the patients family members were there and they were freakin stingy (the daughter was like writing down notes for everything, its freakin nerve wrecking) and that I got new medications, IV ones to hang, that I havent given before and its been awhile since I worked on the IV pumps on the hospital. Anyways, I know its not an excuse its all my fault, I just feel like I don't know how the fuck did I miss that shit. Its sooo basic, even a 5th grader can READ the label and make sure its the right medication. My nervousness got into my head, and I panic easily :/

Sorry... I know prolly some of you are still scratching your head and thinking what the heck did she just said? Bottomline.... I feel like I may not pass my class :/ I'm doing good in quizzes and all that, but what good does it do when you need to pass the clinicals which is the most important one...clinicals is basically your hands on experience as a nurse, you work JUST LIKE A NURSE. Im soo disappointed at myself, I just balled in tears as soon as I got into my car and was crying on my way home while talking to Bf. I just feel like giving up... but of course my BF is there to push me; To challenge myself and see myself as my biggest competitor, not my instructor, not the patient, not the nurses who are full of themselves... its me. He told me to put all my best, so if ever things didn't work out for me (and I'm hoping of course not) I can tell myself "well, you did everything you could. be proud of yourself" and feel good about it rather than coming up short because of my irresponsibility. God I love my Bf :)

And I came home, I saw this package and I told myself "did I buy something lately?" I checked what it was and who it is from... and to my surprise it was from my girl Manju :))

Even if I was still depressed/upset/mad/disappointed at that time, seeing Manju's surprise package with all the sweet goodies put a smile to my face :) I felt loved :)))) awwwww... It was really unexpected. The snack was soooo good, I ate it in like less than a minute no joke. LOL. Thank you Manju! :)

Also I got my Free EOS lip balm the next day.

I dunno if I would actually want to try it now just cuz I got gazillions of lip balm that I haven't used lol. I'll definitely keep this one for now.

Now to the brighter side... I've been tagged by couple of ladies! First that I'm going to do is from Ms. Shop N Chomp and Anastasia. I'm not sure what this tag is called I think its like a Dinner Party something. Anyways, I'm inviting you all! :)

The question is: If you were going to allow us to spend a night at your home, we'd like to know the following:

1. What books are on your favorite shelf?
Confessions of a shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella, Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coehlo, Me talk Pretty One day by David Sedaris, and A Million Little Pieces by James Frey (fraud or not fraud, this book is great)

2. What DVDs are on your favorite shelf?
24 seasons 5,6,7. I think I got some 300 in blu-ray, The Simpsons Movie, The Terminal, and The Bourne Supremacy.

3. What are your two favorite cookbooks?
Uhm.. never really know if I have one. lol.

4. Select 1-3 recipes you will cook for your special guests.
Well... I don't cook. lol. I'm a terrible cook Im guessing, but I really love barbeque-ing/grilling so we can definitely do that :)

5. What will we be drinking that's available?
Ice Tea, Green Tea, OJs, Diet Pepsi, I believe some Mountain Dew, I saw some Budlight in the fridge, and bottled waters.

Ms. Anastasia gave me this award too... Hottest female blogger award??? Woot... now we're talking. LOL. jkkk. thank you dear! :)

Last one is from Ms. Jackie02 :) It's 10 facts about Myself.

I kinda did the 7 things about myself already which kinda similar to this one, so what I'm going to do is give you guys 3 more facts about me. haha.

I have never vomitted in my life before- I know it sounds soo weird and impossible but its true y'all. never did. asked my mom couple days ago whether i vomitted when i was a baby and she said nope, just a lot of burping. LOL.

I do not drink soda/pop- used to, but I stop. My doctor told me I need to reduce caffeine as much as possible because she said something like my breast tissue is "fibrous". Dunno what that means, maybe im prone to having cystic fibrosis one day? Oh well...

I almost drown by saving a little boy on the pool- Yes... I was at Splash Island, its huge waterpark in the Philippines and we were at this huge ass pool with artificial waves. I saw this little boy kinda like struggling to get into the surface and I realized he's prolly going to drown, so I went ahead and grabbed him and tried to pull him up. But the boy was panicking so once he got my hand, he pulled me down and use my body to go up the surface. the pool was like 6 ft deep and I'm what, 5 feet and 10 years old at that time. YES, IM TEN. Then finally some ladies saw me and the boy and they grabbed us... then the lifeguard came, stupid lifeguard. Instead of making sure if we're ok, he was even upset at us passing through the line where only certain height can get through. DUMB FUCK. I'm like whatever, ur bitter cuz u didnt do your job.haha.

Thats for now ladies, I know I haven't really been posting a lot lately. Im just stressed out nowadays. I just hope ill get thru whatever Im going thru. If this is not for me, then its not. Im sure God has better plans for me. Take care everyone and stay pretty xoxo


  1. Congratz on the awards, Manju is so sweet to have sent u that nice package^^
    I hope u r feeling better now..cheer up^^

  2. Aww love! Things will get better! I hate it when nerves get in the way! Just pray (or think good thoughts) before you make your rounds! And your BF is sweet! Girls need good guys and you found one!
    Also, I love the jason bourne series! Matt Damon is a hottie!
    <3<3 you!! --Ciara =)

  3. congrats o the awards! How amazing are the goodies!!

    I hope things so better with school Im sure its stressful. Its so hard when you much is weighing on every move and especially in the class environment. It will all get better! Just keep pushing!! You are in my thoughtsssss!


  4. Oh, doll :( *hugs* I can't even imagine how hard and nerve racking that must be! Just remember that it is TOTALLY fine if you have to redo a class...It's no big deal, doll, and making yourself stressed over that just makes it worse. What your doing, becoming a nurse, is amazing and you are going to help so many people! It's just a small amount of time and it seems hard now, but in the long run you will be a BETTER nurse because of it!!

    *hugs again*

  5. Don't give up. I cried all thru nursing school, studying for the nclex, and my first year as a new grad nurse. When you walk into your patient's room, walk in there knowing that you own the place. It is YOUR patient and YOU are in charge. Easier said than done, but just take a deep breath and don't let anyone rush you. Read your labels, remind yourself of what is going on, what your priorities are. Even if you had the patient for two days already, have that MAR with you. My first year as an RN if I felt tired or stress, I had someone doublecheck my meds so I knew my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. And families will always be breathing down your neck. Just gotta find that confidence somewhere inside you. They back off when they see the confidence. Hang in there!!! <3 Rina

  6. Hi hun, I hope the stress goes away and your situation improves. *hugs* Congrats on your awards. How brave of you to save the little boy when you were little yourself. :) Love the goodies Manju got you!

  7. you're awesome woman! look at you, saving someone's life ;)
    don't stress too much okay, let's be positive.
    n let me know if the bb cream's good. i hope i got the shade right
    cheer up huh *hugs*

  8. girl, school can really be a pain. But just hang in there and work your ass off. It will pay in the end. But i do know how it feels knowing you may not pass a class. Its not a very good feeling. But do what you gotta do and, I know you will do just fine :)

  9. Hey girl!
    Thanks for dropping by my blog. Great blog! =)

    I hope all is well. Think about all the good things and it shall over rule the bads. =)
    Congrats on the awards. =)

  10. school is a pain, but I'm sure you will do well the 3rd time for sure. I get nervous easily too, haha I actually failed my written drivers test the first time cuz I was so nervous (shhhhh)! it happens to all of us :D

    and i can't believe you never vomited?! omg I vomit soo easily, put me on some spinny ride in the amusement park and I'll be spending my afternoon with the toilet

    and totally agree about the Oprah comment! It's true you never hear her complain about her childhood or anything! She just does her own thing and doesn't need pity to be successful!

  11. awww! I know how you feel. Im sure i'll be a ball of nerves once I start to work. I havent been practicing in almost a year (since graduating) It really is more difficult when the families are there, they usually -if not always- try to test you. I find that if you answer their questions and explain what youre doing they keep mum and let you do what you need to do

  12. Hi there...I happened to visit your blog and read about your school stuff. Clinical instructors can be a pain in the arse...I mean, I can understand where they're coming from as they have to watch over 5-7 nursing students during clinical rotation and it's hard. Don't lose hope..everyone gets another chance, remember that. Take care, sweetie.


Thanks Bellas for stopping by!!! I'll get back at you as soon as I can. xoxo